People are scary.

Haha unglam picture hahahahaha.

I feel so scared at the thought that the people who I thought I knew, I don't know at all. Recent events and behaviour have just made me reflect on who I trust and I feel like I'm starting to push people away yet trying my bestest to get closer, to some. I guess making new friends is good and all, but that equals new "friends", new friends, new enemies, new people to trust, new people not to trust, and new people to bring out the best/worst in others. I don't think I'm making much sense but I'm feeling somewhat upset that I haven't been the best judge of character and times like these I remember what Mummy said and constantly remind myself to listen to Mummy. But then I don't want to listen to her either because it means I make wrong choices. Life is complicated people have multiple faces and I hate it that I'm so critical of others now.

Need to take sometime to look at myself, deep, deep into myself because if I were separated from myself I think I would hate who I currently am too. I don't know. It's like the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more you think you're better than everyone else to the point of arrogance, and that's not the way it's supposed to be. I feel myself being louder, fiercer, and more irritating. Like I always think I'm right. I don't want to be that person, I don't want to be a person that I myself would not want to be friends with.

I need time, time to sort things out, sort my thoughts out, to talk to my friends, the ones I can trust. I wish I could read my own mind better. I wish I was less cranky. I wish you were always by my side because I feel comfortable with you and I like being with you and when you smile at me it makes me feel special and I want to feel special.

Walau eh I hate being alone hahahaha. Waiting for OCIP meeting to start at 5 and Yiguan's coming. Sigggghhhhh. Pictures and blog about Can! Marathon some other time. Got SMUN shit to do UGH.