We are not what you think we are

Ok I think today was a really really bad day?

Time to start worrying, Mag.

No scratch that, worrying was for a month ago.

It's time to start PANICKING now.

New songs in my iTunes aren't that great. >:[ SUCKS. Back to The Boy Who Knew Too Much...

Failing 2 fucking essays, when Promos are less than a week away is not the best thing to happen. NOW??? Like honestly, a 9/25 for History where my essay "seems more like a fictional piece of writing than a non-fiction piece of writing", awh thanks. Glad to know that basing my essay on your notes is NOT what I should be doing you fucking prick. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And 12/30 for KI essay which I stayed up till 430am doing? I admit it wasn't my best piece of work but 12 for a research essay is a bit too much to handle.

Even yesterday night's happy events didn't manage to distract me enough throughout today OKAY and that FUCKING. SUCKS. Too agitated too agitated and yesterday I was just saying I always took getting promoted as a given? Like I didn't even consider the possibility that I would get retained, and now I really don't know what to think anymore. Probably my fault since I started revision like a week ago but WTF REALLY WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ms Yanti's really worried for me and Jolene and I hate the fact that our dearest History teacher cannot differentiate between us and that we are the same person in his eyes because no matter how similar we are he's not really making an effort to find our different weaknesses. Because I know Jo puts in so much more effort than me and he's not recognising that and instead it becomes our fault for God knows what reason and it's just very very fucked up I don't know how to express myself anymore.

TODAY'S LIT WAS A BIG FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT AS WELL because me and Chenyin were so proud of our essay plan and convinced that it was a good piece of work. But Miss Tan said the highest she would give it was a 13/25. WTF? After all that time we spent on it? WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING EXAMS WHEN WE DON'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF DISCUSSING AND THE TIME TO ANALYSE AND PHRASE OUR THOUGHTS INTO PROPER WORDS. O-M-G. I don't think I have the confidence to get through this because I wanted Lit to be my best subject and it's supposed to be my best and and.

Fuck this I'm going to try reading Econs or something now. Need to fucking breakdown pull myself together or something. Allowing myself to breakdown only once a month isn't IS going to work out because although it's only the first week of Oct. !!!!!!!!! Be, strong?